Mary/ June 5, 2015/ domestic, Interiors, Living

It was time for new talismans…

Two years ago my American partner & husband of eight years decided not to stick with the plan and come to Canada after all, and ended our relationship. It was difficult, and I picked myself up and soldiered on.

There were a few raised eyebrows 3 months after he left, when he begged me to take him back. I guess I wasn’t completely “done” at that point, and gave him the benefit of the doubt and acquiesced, a bit. We reconnected over several weekends, and planned a trip to our favorite spot, on the west coast of Vancouver Island.

It was blissful being together again. I remember beach combing one lazy afternoon and pocketing some pretty rocks and shells as we wandered and reveled in the late afternoon sun. Less than a month later, he was gone again; for good, this time, I decided.

I was surprised at how the grieving process unfolded. I spent a year being tough, strong, and marching forward, and it wasn’t until the second year did I feel the hurt, aches and sadness around the loss of the dream I had worked so hard to make happen….

A therapist had suggested doing a clean sweep of the few remaining things that had a connection to him including returning those shells and rocks to the beach on the west coast. I had no plans to go there so we compromised and thought my friend, who went back and forth to Victoria could “return” them to the island as a cleansing exercise.

I hadn’t gotten around to asking her yet, then got invited to the area with friends this last weekend. We had a ball staying at a fabulous oceanfront resort, cooking together, hot tubbing, wine tasting, sitting in the sun in the garden overlooking Juan de Fuca straight. Bliss.

On a day trip we went further up the coast several miles to China Beach and I had remembered to bring the rocks! I returned them to a beach only a few miles from where I had found them 20 months ago. I had a little ceremony of my own and shed a few final tears. I told myself they were good memories, they were now safely in the past. I had done the best I could and I was grateful for the experience of loving as I did. I promised myself I would love again.

Over the course of this recent weekend, I found some lovely new rocks and driftwood. New happy rocks that spoke to me about being whole, grateful for my current life, my strength and my resilient heart.

Happy rocks beach